Blood Lust Page 9

  “You know the saying, if you can’t beat them, kill them?”

  “I don’t think it…” I sighed. “I mean sure.”

  I turned in her arms, looking up at her, thinking again how bizarre it was that this small, soft woman who adored me was also a merciless killer.

  “I haven’t been able to find a way to avoid turning you and maintain the life we all have now, to stay in their good graces.”

  Dread nipped icy at my fingers, my toes, and I was glad to be receiving this news while she held me, or I knew I would be panicking so much more than I already was.

  “I’m going to take them down from the inside. It’s time for a revolution, a new world order.”

  A touch of the fanatic slipped into her voice, traces of the woman she was at the punishment center, in the square that awful night. The thrill of destruction darkened her eyes.

  “How would you even start? You have no idea who they are?”

  She shook her head.

  “That doesn’t matter. Outside of the bunker they’re nobody anyway, they said goodbye to family and anything else I could use long ago. I have to get them from the inside, and I will.”

  She scared even me a little bit sometimes, reclined in bed snuggled close to me, soft fingers comforting in my hair while she whispered about death like a dream.

  “What will happen to Vires? Without any structure wouldn’t society collapse?”

  She laughed.

  “My sweet, naïve princess. When one power falls, another takes its place, and when I do, we’ll never have to worry about anything again.”

  Every quote I had ever heard about how power corrupted came back to haunt me, and I was terrified to lose her to it completely.

  “Sweetheart, I’ll be fine.”

  She misread my fear as concern about her physical safety, and I let her.

  “First, I need to get into the archives, do some digging, which involves going deeper than I ever have, but people in the bunker know me, and my reputation. It shouldn’t be an issue as long as I’m not caught by any of the council.”

  Now I was scared for her.

  “Scarlett… Don’t you think we should think this through a little more? Maybe we can talk to Cami and Jade…”

  “No…” She cut me off. “Camilla and Jade stay out of this, you stay out of this, I’m telling you because…we’re partners.” I heard my earlier words to her repeated back, tentatively. “I should share these things with you.”

  She was trying, and it was as sweet as it was heartbreaking. I just wished she’d also got the memo that huge, life-altering, and possibly life-ending, decisions were supposed to be shared too. At least she’d had the courtesy to tell me about what I believed more and more was a suicide mission.

  “I’m scared for you.” I wasn’t ready to beg her, but I knew her, and I knew now her mind was set and a course charted she would be chomping at the bit, eager to set to running it.

  “Rayne…”

  She waited for me to look up at her.

  “I can do this. I’ve trained my whole life for it, without ever knowing. My father taught me how to serve the Government, but in a way, he taught me how to break them too. I know more about how they operate and have access to more of the bunker than anyone in this city, I’m the only one capable of this.”

  “I’m not worth your life, Scarlett.”

  I closed my eyes, feeling tears stinging them, not wanting to cry on her. To me, this felt more and more like a goodbye I wasn’t ready for and was powerless to stop.

  “You are my life.”

  It should be cheesy, but coming from Scarlett, wonderful, crazy, intense Scarlett, it was the sincerest thing I had ever heard.

  “We need you.” I tried.

  “And I need you, as you are, not twisted and turned and destroyed. I will not let them destroy you.”

  I realized with sickening dread that I was not going to be able to talk her out of this.

  “When were you planning to go into the bunker?”

  “Tonight.”

  The word echoed, bouncing painfully around my insides, and the feeling of impending doom that had blanketed me became a raw, urgent panic.

  “I’m not ready, can we just…not tonight? Just promise me not tonight and we’ll talk about this some more tomorrow?”

  She ran soothing fingers up and down my bare arm and studied me with dark eyes full of love, and something else I couldn’t read.

  “Fine. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

  I let out a breath. It almost felt too easy of a win but, desperate to escape the panic images of her caught by the Government inspired, I took it.

  “Okay.”

  Her presence, our connection, grew heavy, relaxed, content. I told myself it was the relief of having one more day to try to avert this disaster, though really, I knew she was lulling me. I let myself go, wrapping my arms around her and settling myself half on top of her, just in case.

  Chapter Six

  IT WAS JUST beginning to get light outside when I woke. I searched the cool sheets for Scarlett.

  My eyes shot open. I already knew she was gone.

  I whipped the sheets off my body anyway, jumped to my feet, and banged through the door and out into the hall. I skidded into the kitchen, my socked feet having too little traction to slow me from the dead run I was taking around the house to look for her.

  She wasn’t on the thirteenth floor, and I burst into Jade’s room without knocking, frantic. Shock and panic made my brain take too long to catch up with my body. Jade squealed and yanked the covers over her naked body. Camilla sat there, in all her glory, hands on hips, pissed.

  I stared.

  “Do you need something?”

  Cami looked at me like I had lost my mind, and she wasn’t totally wrong.

  “It’s Scarlett.”

  The prospect of trying to explain it all was daunting, but somehow, I garbled out my story and how I was sure she had left to go to the bunker already.

  “Shit.”

  Camilla raked her hands through her mussed hair.

  “Darling, we need to get dressed.”

  She tossed some clothes at Jade, and within seconds they were both standing before me fully clothed. I envied their speed as my brain grappled to wake from the pleasant slumber I’d been enjoying just minutes ago.

  “Come on, she may not have left the building yet.”

  I didn’t know if I truly believed that, but I clung to it as the truth desperately, not ready to accept that Scarlett was really gone on this crazy mission and I might never see her again.

  We hurried to the elevator, Jade towing me along by my hand. My inferior human legs weren’t able to keep up with vampires on the edge of using their supernatural speed, not to mention both of them were at least a foot taller than me.

  The ride down seemed to last forever.

  “Why didn’t you tell us last night? We could have talked to her or tried to reason…”

  Everyone in the tiny metal box knew reasoning with Scarlett would have done no good, but I understood Camilla’s need for an outlet.

  “She asked me not to, and I did make her promise she wouldn’t go last night. I thought I had time!”

  Cami scoffed.

  “Typical Scarlett. Ran off before you could try to stop her. Unbelievable.”

  She burst out of the elevator with me and Jade on her heels.

  “You.”

  She approached one of the guards who snapped to attention.

  “Ma’am?”

  “Scarlett Pearce, did she leave this morning?”

  He nodded. “About half an hour ago, give or take.”

  Damn her, damn her, damn her.

  Jade gripped my hand and Camilla turned to us.

  “Go back upstairs, I may be able to catch her.”

  She said no more—we were all conscious of our company—and then she was gone.

  We stood there for a few long moments, the doorman hovering awkwardly, bot
h Jade and I shell shocked, rudely interrupted from entirely different pleasant activities to deal with this.

  “She’s going to die.”

  Jade was staring out of the doors after Camilla. Coming to my senses, I tugged on our joined hands and led her back across the elaborate foyer to where I could call the elevator.

  The ride back up felt surreal, and it dawned on me that I had stood in the lobby in nothing but my underwear, a big old T-shirt of Scarlett’s, and a pair of fluffy black socks. I couldn’t even care.

  Jade seemed to be in shock. Deciding I was going to be in charge until Camilla came back, hopefully with Scarlett, I tried to busy myself with that rather than the worry threatening to overtake me.

  I dragged Jade to the kitchen, telling her softly to sit down at the bar while I put the kettle on to boil, glad to have something to do.

  I wanted to tell her it would be okay, but neither of us knew that, so we listened to the water bubbling in silence.

  The tea was cold in front of us by the time the elevator dinged, Jade’s cheeks wet from the silent tears that had streamed down them. For my part, I was numb.

  Camilla appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, alone, dark eyes blazing, and my heart sank.

  “All we can do is wait for her to come back,” she announced grimly, lifting her chin just a fraction more than usual. The move told me she was as worried about this as the rest of us.

  “She’d already gone inside, and I didn’t have good enough reason to be able to follow. People already think I’m bizarre, running around like this, with no makeup on.”

  She sniffed, and I couldn’t help but think she looked oddly cute in her tight jeans and thin cashmere sweater, though it was a far cry from the opulent designer attire she usually donned for the outside world. Much like Scarlett, she had a public persona she clung to.

  “So, while we’re here anyway, with nothing to do but wait, why don’t you tell us again what she said last night before she ran off to…do this.”

  She stopped herself, but I still heard her death, loud and clear in my head. Camilla tried to backpedal.

  “For a complete idiot, she’s smart. If anyone can pull this off, it’s her.”

  I nodded, numb.

  “Maybe Rayne should put on pants first?”

  Jade finally spoke, and I looked down at my own bare legs. So did everyone else in the room.

  Camilla rolled her eyes.

  “We’ll be in the living room once you’ve managed to dress yourself.”

  I sidled off to do as I was told, trying not to linger in the bedroom that smelled like Scarlett. Her things were all around me, so many memories of my life with her; so many of the very best parts of it involved that room.

  My face was pale in the bathroom mirror, my hair mussed. I gave up on trying to smooth it out, brushed it through quickly, and fastened it into a long braid at my back. It struck me how much I had changed during my time in the city. Gone was the deadness in my eyes that had stared back at me in New Hampshire. I was alive now, living, breathing and feeling, with so much to continue to live and fight for. As much as life in Vires was a roller coaster, and as far from perfect as it was, I knew I would never go back, not willingly. I grabbed a thin sweater that came down to my thighs and tugged on some black leggings, before I rushed back to the living room, not eager to be alone with my anxiety for too long.

  Cami and Jade sat huddled together on the sofa, talking quietly. I tried not to dwell on the information I had learned about the two of them last night. I saw the similarities now—the slim, tall figure, Amazonian good looks—or perhaps I was just convincing myself they were more alike than any two other tall gorgeous women because of what Scarlett had told me. I was lonely for Scarlett as I perched on the edge of a recliner.

  They turned and fixed their dark eyes on me.

  “Did she say exactly what she was hoping to find?”

  I shook my head.

  “Just that she needed more information so she could take them down from the inside.”

  Camilla hissed something that sounded a lot like stupid.

  “And what does she plan to do if she succeeds? Hooray, we get to keep Rayne as a breakable little human, but what then of the city and society?”

  “That was what I asked her. She told me she planned to take the Government’s place.”

  Tense silence followed the admission, and no one seemed to move. Jade was the first to come back to herself.

  “I don’t want her to do this, but that could be good, right? We could change things…things could be better, for everyone. We could finally get away from all the stupid barbaric tradition and move forward.”

  Her excitement at the prospect was growing, but I just didn’t share it. Cami held my eyes. The wariness in those dark irises told me she wasn’t so convinced of Scarlett’s good intentions either.

  “That or the power corrupts her completely and she goes to a place none of us can get her back. She’s come close before, don’t forget. Wasn’t that why you concocted your hairbrained scheme and brought Rayne here in the first place?”

  Jade deflated momentarily before she seemed to reason her way around that particular piece of our history.

  “That was different. She met Rayne and was in love with a life she thought she could never have, so yes, it made her dark. She was taking out her anger and all her conflicted feelings in her work. Now she has Rayne, and she’s loved, and she has her family. It’s different.”

  It was a nice ideology, but I just didn’t know if it was true.

  “And what about recently? You know she’s been immersing herself in it again, she’s gone more than she’s home.”

  I hated to disappoint Jade, but all of us needed to approach this with our eyes open.

  “This is nothing compared to before.” Camilla cut in easily. “She’s lived all her life under someone else’s control. Give her the leash and one of two things will happen. She’ll rise above what she is and maybe evolve and move the city toward progress, or she’ll get drunk on the power and dive down darker than any of us have ever known her.”

  The thought was chilling.

  “She’s a good person.” Jade was offended, and Cami placated her instantly.

  “I never argued that, but she’s broken, Jade, everyone in this room knows it, and somewhere along the way, that became a part of her. She loves power as much as she loves any one of us. Yes, she will beg and crawl and bleed to save us, but she always rises, I think she always will rise. Take your father and the Government out of the equation. As much as I love her, she’s my best friend and I want to see her free, but I fear the world she would create, or what would become of her as she tries to find a new outlet.”

  I scrubbed hard at my eyes. I wanted to believe in Scarlett, believe her to be capable of doing the right thing, though I didn’t really know what the right thing was beyond stopping the murder of innocent people.

  “Don’t you think we’re getting ahead of ourselves? This is all some distant what-if, assuming she defeats the Government and it all goes as she plans. Shouldn’t we be more concerned right now with the current suicide mission, not to mention the multiple future ones she’s no doubt planning. How’re we going to stop her?”

  They were busy avoiding looking at each other, Jade picking her nails.

  “We can’t physically stop her…”

  It occurred to me that I could, maybe. I was able to use being blood bound to influence her that night in the Fringe, though whenever we practiced at home I never could. I couldn’t rely on it, and even if I could, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I would probably compel her to save her life but taking away her choice in anything sat extremely heavy with me. I knew if it happened it would be a last resort and never something I had planned to do.

  “We’re just going to have to talk to her and treat her like the reasonable creature we all know she isn’t,” Cami decided.

  “Talk to me about what?”

  I had never moved so fas
t in my life as I did then. I rushed from my chair and launched myself at her, my arms around her neck, breathing her in, the faint scent of the stale air in the bunker still clinging to her skin. Snow was melting in her hair and on her clothes, on her silly leather jacket that was too thin for the weather, and I clung to her, silently rejoicing a million times that she was okay.

  She kissed the top of my head and set me back on my feet. I got one good look at her, inspecting her for any signs of harm and finding none, then all my sweet relief at her safety dissolved into anger.

  “You promised!”

  Heels clicked against the floor for two steps as she moved past me, before they were kicked off and she sunk down into the recliner that was previously mine.

  “Did I? Think back.”

  She’d promised not to leave last night and left first thing in the morning instead. She’d planned this, used some stupid technicality to avoid waiting, and gone and risked her stupid self anyway. I was still seething, trying to form words.

  “I’m guessing from the death glare and the sad eyes you shared our conversation with Jade and Camilla?”

  “I was worried you were going to die!” I spat the words out as she regarded me coldly.

  “She was scared for you, Scar, we all were.”

  Jade came to my rescue, appearing behind me and tugging me back to sit on the sofa. She threaded her fingers through mine in a show of support.

  “So, care to share what happened? I assume you weren’t caught given that you’re here, alive.”

  Scarlett opened her mouth to reply to Camilla before she paused, her head tilted to the side slightly, then raised one finger to her lips.

  It was bizarre, and my heart picked up at the strange sight, suddenly nervous.

  “I just can’t eat fillet again, Cami. Cook always overdoes it anyway.”

  Something flashed between them, and suddenly, they were two different people.

  “Then how about veal? We could always dine at my place. You know my father would be thrilled to see you and perhaps April’s baby has come?”